By Sean Kelly
Think of the last conversation you had that didn’t go so well. Maybe you left the conversation frustrated, or a feeling drained. Maybe you’re a manager and you were trying to correct or improve one of your people. On the other hand, maybe you’re an employee and you had a conversation with a client or supervisor, and the discussion left you feeling anxious but you can’t quite put your finger on why. After analyzing thousands of ineffective conversations between managers and employees, and employees and their customers, one of the main reasons conversations are frustrating for one or both parties is lack of commitment.
The Enemy is Ambiguity
The most subtle way people skirt commitment is with ambiguity, and ambiguity is the opposite of clarity. I define clarity by knowing who, does what, by when. An uncommitted person will try to avoid taking responsibility for the next action item and avoid being the “who” themselves. Let’s look at how salespeople do this subconsciously when asking for referrals.
“Here’s some business cards, and if you know someone who needs a car, I’d appreciate it if you’d send them to me.”
There are two “who’s” in this example, and neither are on the salesperson! The customer has to decide who is the buyer, even though they’re poorly trained on how to identify this. The customer is “who” has to do the work once a buyer is found. What does a committed salesperson do differently? Answer: “Who’s next in your family to get a car?”
Here’s how a frustrated and uncommitted manager avoids the “who” and creates vagueness in a sales meeting:
“Why aren’t you guys doing what I told you! You know (Insert activity) is part of selling cars!”
Very seldom do blanket statements apply to everyone on a team, and mass punishment erodes trust. If you want to maximize motivation, get buy-in and drive bigger results you’ll need to take a different route. Because a manager needs each player on their team to respect each other for their competency, and the team must respect the competency of the manager leading the team. How competent is a manager who is constantly yelling at their employees about how incompetent they are?
When the manager isn’t specific about “who” needs to improve, they are correcting with ambiguity and which won’t change anything because there’s no commitment from the manager. This corrective growth opportunity has simply become a complaint session.
Let’s Talk About the “What”
Commitment around the “what” can be a powerful thing. A culture that lacks commitment seeks every opportunity to do as little as possible, just enough to get by. Let’s think about the cost of this in the modern day marketplace. From one to five stars, what are your customers expectations of service? Most people say FIVE. In reality, if you just meet their minimum expectation which is five star service, how do you stand out? In order to make the impact necessary to get the transaction, and create a loyal advocate for your business, you’ll need more commitment to the “what” than the bare minimum.
How does a salesperson who avoids the “what”, sound like in an uncommitted reaction to their
managers request around prospecting to generate their own business.
“It’s the dealership’s job to bring in business, not mine.” OR “I’ll think about doing something.”
The first example is blatantly committed to doing nothing, the second has committed to nothing. In reality, the only thing we can be clear on here, is that in both of these examples there are no “what’s”, and with no “what” we have no commitment.
Revisiting the non-committal sales manager avoiding the “what’s” may sound like this.
“You should be (Insert activity).” “You need to (insert activity).” “You need to start (insert activity).” End dialog.
Exactly “what” are YOU going to do here Mr./Mrs. manager? We just don’t know.
The shrewdest of the non-committals take advantage of the law of diminishing intent. The law states that the longer someone waits to do something that they know they should do, the lower the likelihood becomes that it will get done.
Enter the “When” Aversion
Let’s go back to the ambiguous referral ask by our commitment lacking salesperson, note the use of the word “If” instead of when. “IF you meet someone who needs a car, please send them to me.” Now, the uncommitted manager and equally under committed employee’s uncommitted interaction.
Manager, “Hey you, let’s get those past due CRM tasks done.”
Employee, “I’ll get to it when I have time, boss.”
Manager, “Ok…”
We can see in this all too common interaction that the employee has not committed to when they will start, and have this done by. In fact, they gave a conditional response. Should they have time, only then will it happen. Unfortunately, the problem perpetuates because the manager hasn’t committed to the employee, or the accountability it takes to lock in time framed expectation.
Words Matter
When it comes to coaching, I’ve learned every single word carries a lot of weight. The words you say have profound implications on your level of commitment. Reflect on your language…
“I may“ means you probably won’t. “I’ll think about…” means in the future, you will think. This couldn’t be further from taking action. “Sometime soon I’ll”… does “soo”n mean the same thing to you as it does to me? To me it means 10 years from now.
“Maybe…” Am I better off trying to get rich betting at the roulette table?
“I should…” but you won’t, because when you should-on yourself, you’d rather self-shame and accept defeat.
“I might…”
“One day…”
Modeling Commitment
Employees will behave in the way they see their managers act. If you’re a manager and you want committed employees then the commitment has to start with you. They don’t see commitment when the entire action plan is solely on their shoulders. They don’t hear commitment when it’s always their
fault. They don’t feel commitment when there is no deadline, or scheduled follow up for accountability from their manager.
Change: “Make more calls” into, “Who will you be calling today and do you know where to find them in the CRM?”
Change: “You need to set appointments” into, “How many appointments are you trying to set today, and what coaching, scripts or training do you need from me in order to achieve that goal?”
Change: “You should post on social media” into, “Lets stretch our comfort zones today and make some social media content together. What will we post today that will help us grow?”
Change: “Do your CRM tasks” into, “What’s getting in the way of you getting caught up in your CRM tasks? When will you be caught up by? How do you want me to hold you accountable to that?”
Change: “Start asking for referrals.” Into, “Walk me through your referral ask process so we can come up with ways to make it more effective right away for you.”
Once you start to take your commitment and that of your employees to this level, you will realize they’re never being lazy, unmotivated or in a slump. They simply fear change, don’t have the ability, and/or don’t see the value in doing it. Instead, bolster commitment with collaborative discussions where co-creating action plans is the norm.
Remove ambiguity, have honest positive impactful dialog, Create committed employees by committing to them in your efforts and energy. This will help you ensure those straining, stressful, draining dialogs’ vanish.
You will find commitment removes anger, frustration, fear and generates momentum because there’s mutual buy-in. This all leads to trust, competency, ownership, and a mindset of accountability. And think of it like this, a business’s only job is to make commitments and then meet them. If that isn’t happening from you, it won’t happen inside the culture of your business. If that’s the case, then how can it happen on the outside, with your customers?